Did you just see the Batmobile???
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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