That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
