Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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