it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
