If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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