if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
