My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
it wasn't lemon gatorade
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
Randomize
