We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
