She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm really busy with my period
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