and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
