If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
