i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
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