I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
