It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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