is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
