My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
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