After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
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