my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
