Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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