Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
