He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
