He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
COCAINE IS GR8
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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