You smell like a Billy Joel song
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
