he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
