Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
