I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
He gave me my financial savings if I invested with him while I was giving him a bj.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
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