This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Never joke about your clitoris.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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