my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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