So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
