If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
