Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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