yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
