Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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