You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
my mouth tastes like poor choices
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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