There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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