do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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