mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Slut skills are useful in every country.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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