Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
