now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
