i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
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