You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
