i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
Randomize
