I'm drive I can fine osifer
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
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