your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Be still, my beating vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize
