my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
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