i just had sex bonerless
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
