the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
