oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
Randomize
