best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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