i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
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