Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
