I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
