youre lurking in front of me
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
Randomize
