i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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