no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Is it weird that I Facebook creep hot people from their credit card receipts?
Being single for so long makes me fucking creepy.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize
