I accidentally burped into my bong.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
