And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
