just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
